nothing can make you go away....

absolutely nothing i could possibly do will ever make me think differently.  nothing i could ever think of will make me believe that those times didn't happen.  it wasn't a dream.  i wasn't imagining things.  it happened.  they happened.  he happened....

and nothing will take that away.  ever.  not a single thing....

and i want to be happy that i'll carry them with me always....but it's impossible to be happy like this.  it's impossible not to shed a tear for it.  and it's impossible for me not to care.

i did nothing wrong.  i made no mistake and this is still the payment i get in the end.  well fuck my life.... how come it's even worth waking up every day anymore?  when my  dreams make me happy.  he's back and i'm  smiling and everything is as it feels it should be....

but i open my eyes and i'm alone in my room caught in my thoughts and still missing you....

I just fucking MISS you you heartless bastard....i just fucking miss you....

-lizz